Be Slow To Speak

The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him. - Proverbs 18:17

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. - Proverbs 18:13

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In the past few weeks, I’ve taken heat from people for what I have not said. In the midst of the killings of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, social media was awash in condemnations, proclamations, opinion, virtue signaling, snark, reposted news reports, quotes, video clips and genuine expressions of compassion and empathy. It was a cacophony of virtual noise: some of it forwarding media-driven narratives, some of it repudiating those narratives, all of it creating the impression that the only thing anybody was talking about was America’s race issue.

In the midst of it all, I decided to take a conscious and deliberate step back. My wife had just given birth to our second child and the adjustments and demands newborn life places on a parent elbowed out any desire I might’ve had to be participating in the back-and-forth of social media discourse. But, more than that, I had simply grown tired of trying to convince people online of things they had inoculated themselves against being convinced about. 2020 already had its fair share of social outrage and political buffoonery and somewhere in the midst of all of it the truth finally settled into my mind that social media platforms are simply not an ideal way to have serious, deep, personal discussions. Blogs are one thing. Trying to actually convince someone through the wittiest status update or dankest meme are something else entirely.

So I said nothing at all. Just about everything I wanted to say was being said by someone else with a bigger platform, anyway, and those open to hearing truth would be perfectly capable of finding it if they truly desired to do so. Those who had settled for jumping on bandwagons and parroting the dominant media narratives wouldn’t care; their propensity for bandwagons and narratives goes hand-in-hand with either their inability or unwillingness to go find the truth. With the exception of a few small things I sent to close friends and a couple of responses on other people’s posts, I decided to remain out of the fracas. 

My wife noticed and I took her encouragement as a positive sign. Arguing with people I barely know (or don’t know at all) about positions they will never publicly concede before the watching eyes of others and instead dedicating that time to things that are worthwhile and productive has felt like a breath of fresh air. Stress and distraction have receded a bit in my mind, despite the maddening chaos that seems to surround us at all times these days.

But still, for some it wasn’t enough. I received heat from a few people for not saying something about all that has been going on in our culture. Somehow, the decision to stay out of it was interpreted to be a tacit endorsement of a particular position - a position contrary to much of what I believe and one I go to great lengths to renounce in my own character. But, as the quote du jour goes, “Silence is violence,” or if not that, it’s complicity, consent or compliance. To not say something was just as bad as saying the exactly wrong thing. If you didn’t say something, you must agree with X, because everyone who doesn’t agree with X knows that they ought to say something. 

Make no mistake, my friends: this is a bullying tactic. Say the wrong thing, and we’ll shame or cancel you. Say nothing at all, and we’ll accuse you of being on the side that ought to be shamed or cancelled. The only viable thing to do is say exactly what all of the politically correct types approve of you saying. 

The Word of God would suggest otherwise. It is apparent from the Bible that not allowing yourself to jump to conclusions or make hasty judgments is the way of wisdom. And especially in our own immediate context, not believing everything you hear the moment you hear it seems to be a more prudent and mature course of action. 

Think about it. We’ve just learned this week that the alleged hate crime against NASCAR drive Bubba Wallace was a complete misunderstanding (if not an outright fabrication) and not a hate crime at all. Jussie Smollett’s story about racist assault was a complete fiction. “Hands up, don’t shoot,” is something Michael Brown never said, according to eyewitnesses at the scene, because he was too busy attacking a police officer and trying to steal his weapon. Breonna Taylor was not shot for simply being black and asleep at the wrong address; she was neck-deep in the drug game, had a warrant out for her arrest and was killed after police announced themselves, used a battering ram against the door and received fire from inside the residence that nearly killed one officer by rupturing an artery in his leg. 

Mark Twain once said that a lie can fly halfway around the world before the truth has time to get its boots on. When bolstered by ideological narratives and an activist press, lies, fictions and distortions are imbued with superpowers that cause them to be truly difficult to parse or reject. But, given enough time, the facts and the evidence always find a way to make themselves known.

The situation we find ourselves in in this culture is one akin to being on a jury and only hearing the prosecution’s side. We are consistently, routinely and deliberately denied all of the complete facts and instead given a steady diet of what elites and their willing accomplices in the realms of media, entertainment and journalism want us to believe. We are told a manicured version of events. The goal is to not to hear the entire truth and then use it to reach a conclusion. The goal is to reach a predetermined conclusion by any means necessary, regardless of truth, evidence or facts. 

If all you ever heard in a courtroom was the prosecution's side, not only would you not be inclined to imagine any other explanation for what took place, but you would pat yourself on the back for doing exactly what the prosecuting lawyers wanted you to do. There would be no other option. (Don’t go too far with the analogy: it is not an indictment of all prosecuting attorneys. It is simply an illustration of how out-of-balance things would get if our justice system denied defendants an equal right to be heard in a courtroom.)

There is wisdom in silence. There is wisdom in waiting to make your judgment until all the pertinent evidence is on the table. There is wisdom in not jumping to conclusions. There is wisdom in not automatically trusting everything those with ideological agendas say you ought to believe. But social media, with its attendant notion that all opinions, no matter how ill-informed, are equally valid and worthy to be heard, along with its emphasis on public, visible displays of proper thinking and making sure we share our two cents about every allegedly important social issue put before us, creates a culture of absolute impatience. Because if you wait, you won’t be speaking. And if you’re not speaking, you must be complicit. 

Instead, reject the idea that something must always be said (or even that something must always be done). Let the truth speak for itself, and adjust your worldview accordingly. 

Furthermore, consider stepping back from the deafening roar of online voices all trying to outdo each other in the supposed “conversation” we’re all having. Take the time to learn the truth for yourself, and then trust God to bring the people into your sphere of influence who need to hear about it from you. Let that be enough. Let your own personal relationships be the network you use to bless and encourage people rather than the deceptive digital “marketplace of ideas”. 

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“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” - James 1:19

“A man of knowledge restrains his words, and a man of understanding maintains a calm spirit. Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps silent, and discerning when he holds his tongue.” - Proverbs 17:27-28